Para kay Ryan... ang katsokaran ko sa inuman... Kaya mo yan Pare!

bilatsina

I was saddened by the news that my friend Ryan and his girlfriend broke up after 5 years, 5 months and 12 days of being together as a couple. He's currently in Singapore and I couldn't find any other way of comforting him aside from writing this blog post. Having been in numerous breakups myself, I can say I'm a BreakUp survivor.

I've read online that the second most intense life stress is loss of love. The first one being death. Both, in most cases, result in the physical removal of someone special from your life. Both result in the loss of a way of life we have become familiar with. The difference between the two is that with death, you have the peace of knowing you were in your lost loved one's heart and that you were not abandoned purposely, cast aside or rejected. With breakups, even though you have the assurance that they are still alive somewhere on this Earth, their love was intentionally withdrawn from you. They opted to leave you. We no longer have their presence nor their care. They no longer want us. Sad, but true.

Whenever someone we love deemed us unworthy of their love and affection, we experience grief over the loss of their mental, emotional and spiritual presence, along with our own sense of value and self-worth. We feel rejected, not good enough, not lovable, unwanted and cast aside. We feel taken for granted and unappreciated for all the things we have done for them.We have gone from being everything to being nothing in a blink of an eye. But have you ever thought what kind of person we'd be if we didn't grieve? Doesn't our grief stem from our having been loving, devoted, caring, committed, trusting and involved? Would we really want to be the type of person that is cold, callous, without emotion and self-centered that we could easily just dismiss such a breakup and walk away unscathed?

The hardest thing for someone going through a breakup is fighting those relentless urges to contact the ex. What usually goes through our head is, "I just need some closure." "I just need some answers 'why'.", "I just want to hear their voice, see their face..". These things seem pathetic but we've all done it. At the back of our minds, we are still hoping that somehow, we can still make it work and that the relationship doesn't have to end.

We can go all day sulking and feeling depressed but it all boils down to one point... it's over. It's not called FALLING in love if it doesn't hurt after we finally hit the ground. So how does someone get over a breakup? My advise is, try NOT to get over it... at least not as quickly as you'd want it to be. We all need time to be miserable, to spend days and nights thinking of nothing but our ex. Because these are the things that make us stronger. A battered heart is more precious than a heart that has not felt any pain at all. Don't even try to think of ways on how to forget your ex. Because we really couldn't. The love we have for that person will always remain... even if you've found a new love it is always there. It might not be as intense as what it was during the time that you were together... but the feeling that at one time during your journey called LIFE, that person has given you memories that will last a lifetime.

Posted by bilatsina at 06:14 PM | 7 Mga Umispluk