We can't stay happy for long, can we? I don't mean I'm unhappy per se, because I am happy in the most inconvenient, unexpected, weird way. I guess that's just me dwelling on the downside of the being away idea speaking. Not ranting here but It's been so long since I went through this whole restructuring ordeal and so sometimes I'm taken by the difficulty especially whenever I get the urge to talk to you but cannot. I'm still adjusting and right now, trying to place emotions in their proper places. Sometimes, it could really get frustrating and sad, to say the least. But it’s a welcome challenge, one that I easily permitted myself to embrace. When I said I am willing to take the risk, I meant plunging in with all what-nots. No I don't wanna doubt; it's not helpful at all. You've earned my trust albeit my not telling you that. But I just want you to remember that this is a two-way traffic, that there are things we have to prove in our own ways so we can survive all things else together. What I have been praying for since Day One, when I had the epiphany, the realization of the fact and its parallel possibilities is for the faith to help me through days like this, for the wisdom to know things so I wouldn't hurt myself, and for the hope that eventually the right time will come.
I made a promise and I have no intention to back out on it. But should I ever break it, I want to make sure that I've taken all means and measures to have prevented myself from doing so. As always, I'm waiting. My point is...I miss you.
Currently listening to: Always on my ind- Anoop Desai
Currently feeling: contemplative
Your touch is electric I felt it the first time you held me The way we connected So easily
I've tried to define it Searched for the perfect phrase I've tried to describe it In a million different ways
It's joy, it's ecstacy, it's truth, it's destiny And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel There's only one word for this
I've got to admit it You took my heart by surprise Don't know how you did it But baby, I've never felt so alive
It's joy, it's ecstacy, it's truth, it's destiny And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel There's only one word for this It's bliss
Hey, you know, baby, know what the future holds As long as you're here with me
It's joy, it's ecstacy, it's truth, it's destiny And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel
It's faith, it's honesty, it's life, it's everything To say "I love you"'s not enough to tell you how you make me feel
It's in your smile, in your kiss It's the reason that I exist There's only one word for this It's bliss
Lately, I don’t know why but I have
been eagerly listening to sappy sad love songs. I’m not bitter or
whatever.. I just appreciate how the message of the songs flows through
my cold veins as it pumps blood into my numb heart.
For now, I can attest to the saying that who can say why your heart cries, when your love lies.. only time.
Unconsciously, I can sleep well as I hit the sack after my shift. I
love seeing the sunshine as it peeks through the window of my bedroom.
I enjoy taking a nice looooonnng (take note: LONG ) shower and play
with my dresses in my closet.
The pain that I have been hiding from the whole world to see is long gone. I didn’t know when but it’s gone.
Whenever I try to remember the events that shattered my life, I just
laugh at myself for I never realized that I was too blinded by my
emotions. One thing I can say without any hesitations is I do not have
any REGRETS with what I had done in the past.
When we’re in-love, we do things way beyond what we normally do. We act as if there’s no tomorrow.. in short, insanity.
It’s really ironic but that is the bittersweet truth. The pain may
take forever to descend in my heart but only time will tell when will
it end… and it did!
If only the world knew what I had experienced, they will understand
why I decided to leave it and be on my own. Honestly? It’s shocking and
very traumatic for me. I learned a lot from all those things that
happened to me.
For now, I’m thankful that I managed to survive another adversity that once colored my life hue.
Currently listening to: If The Feelong Is Gone by Ella Mae Saison | Before I Let You Go by Freestyle | It Must Have Been Love by Roxette
Currently feeling: pensive
I woke up way too early yesterday. I believed I had slept around 12
MN then I got up at 3 AM. Well, I need to be at the office that early
because I’ll be seeing Ram and Cyril after their respective shifts. I
was at the office around 5:30 AM then Ram and I headed to SM Mall of
Asia to fetch Cyril. Around 6 AM, we were there at the mall to meet
Cyril.
However, Cyril had a call and he came out around 7:30 AM. Long call, huh?
First stop. We decided to grab a coffee at Starbucks while waiting
for Rose and Ella. It’s funny because while the Barista was trying to
build a rapport as we took our order, he just asked out of curiosity
and this line was the one I will never forget:
“So, you’re a balikbayan right?!”
We laughed out loud and I answered back, “Hindi ah, taga Imus lang ako. We’re currently working at Makati“.
Let these pictures do the talking. *winks!
I was kinda anticipating to see someone but I guess, we’re not meant to see each other during that day. o.O
Till next time guys and I hope complete attendance na tayo! =)
Currently listening to: Kahit Kailan by South Border
Currently feeling: loved
The heart knows no hiatus. It grows in silence. It is unaware of succession. It doesn't question. It helplessly beats for reasons unknown to the bearer, or it may be devoid of reason at all. Hence is associated with insanity, madness, blindness, folly. But something so beautiful and transcendental would definitely not be a product of stupidity. It is there. It exists. It is felt. It tries hard not to deceive its bearer. Resistance and denial only make a moron out of its bearer. It doesn't suggest profoundness. Happiness ought to be simple. Otherwise, only a few could afford understanding the meaning of joy.
Here I am, listening to the music that I had uploaded in my playlist.
Thanks to Don Domeng for the mp3’s available in our servers and I’m
currently enjoying the avail time on my shift. It’s already in the
middle of my shift and we were able to harvest all the admin works at
the office. *chuckles* Joke!
Kidding aside..
As I silently looked past the bay on my way home, I somehow tried to
remember some of the memories that I already burned away in my mind. I
miss my childhood life, college friends, being a student (just trying
to pass all the curriculum), being active in church and of course, the
persons who had once touched my life.
I somehow pitied the person who asked me that pop question just
recently. No, actually I pitied myself. Why? I know to the fact that I
cannot afford to give love as much as I can like before.
Some were trying to induce me to love them as if I was never hurt. I
admire those people who can truly love a person without using them as a
rebound. Who keeps on accepting love with arms wide open.
I know to the fact that I am finally over with all the shits I had
gone through recently. I’m proud to say that I was able to get him out of my system. For I do not have any urge to win him back like before . I’m no longer that pathetic who’s really crazy to a person who never saw my worth - like any ordinary girl who falls in love to any ordinary guy.
Sad to say that I used to be that stupid who got caught in her own emotions and was blinded by love.
I remember when Marcos asked me, “Bern, kailan mo ba balak lumgay na sa tahimik?”
I didn’t answer him because until now I still can’t provide any answer to myself, if I should be deciding to settle down or not.
As this line goes “There’s tons of fishes in the water, so the waters I will test“, I decided to go out and be the way how was I before. I mingle and date with other guys out there, enjoying the benefits of no strings attached rule.
I manipulate. I lie. I used lame excuses. So what?
Maybe somewhere along the way, I might meet the person who will take
me away from the life I’m currently living. The one who will accept me
at my worst or my best, which possesses long patience to change me and
bring me home to where I belong.
Currently listening to: Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch | Goin' Crazy by Natalie | Takipsilim by Paramita
“You don’t move on from the pain. You get used to it.”
And so I realize that giving everything to you and always be there for you was not enough.
I could just walk away from all the lies and troubles caused, but I didn't. Because I strongly feel that saving our drowning relationship and giving us a second chance would be worth it.
I am willing to risk it all because I want you.
I want you so bad.
And I love you.
Currently listening to: DREAMS by The Cranberries
Currently watching: Gossip Girl Season 2
Currently feeling: still inlove
| Primera Bilatsina | Manggagaya ng blog template ni Kulot | Laitera |
Bobokels sa pag edit ng tabulas blog | Hot | Chismosa | At higit sa lahat...
Mayaman! |
